So yesterday I had one of those days. We have all had them where we wonder about a third of the way in how we will make it through? Yep, one of those.
The kids have not been well on and off all week, nor had my husband. Schedules have been full and sleep has been lacking with rotating little people visiting through the night, which is unusual in our home. I was tired and stressed and lacked the emotional resources to deal with what the day brought. There was crying for no reason, fighting for no reason, endless set-backs in timing, and a constant stream of “mom…momma….mom…can you? could you? did you? would you?” All four of them needed me all the time and I found myself driving home white knuckled thinking that if only I could take a break. Just go home curl up in a chair and have a cup of tea – close my eyes and when I opened them there would be a quiet Norman Rockwell-like moment in my living room instead of the apparent ‘tornado of activity’ that had gone through earlier in the day.
Feeling overwhelmed I called out to God and asked Him for sympathy, rest, understanding and to be rescued. He answered me with exactly what I needed to hear and taught me a lesson I obviously needed to learn.
After a long stretch of me going over and over all the stress of the moment and the day, this is what came into my heart: “This is of your own doing. This is exactly what you asked for and exactly what you wanted. What did you expect life to be like with four little children, a home to care for and work on top of it all?” This is your life and you can and will push through it. You are not alone, but you will just have to keep going.”
You see I was expecting a sense of peace and calmness…a friend to show up for a visit..a surprise early visit home from work by my husband, the perfectly timed scripture verse…you know one of those “God is so good – He saved me.” moments. Which I have had before however, this time not so much. It was much more of a ‘there is nothing to save you from, this is life, a life you asked for and have been given, you are fine, now move forward.’ moment.
It made me think of how I am with my own children, often when they are getting irrationally upset, over-emotional or start to panic about things, I look at them, tell them to look at me and I say “You are fine. Now just keep going.”. Calmly, straight forward and with assurance.
Yesterday when I called out to God it was as though He wanted me to look up to Him so He could say “Rebecca, you are fine. Now just keep going.” No glorious rescue, no miraculous story, just His assurance that everything would be okay.
God reminded me that I need to ” Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” and that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”.
God told me in His still small voice that I should be thankful that everything I have needed and wanted has been provided to me, and that although He strengthens me, He will not take all the work, challenge and hardships away.
Not at all the answer I had hoped for or expected, but as usual God knew exactly what I needed. I wanted Him to save me and assure me how sad it was and how hard it must be…instead I got a moment of refining about my perspective on the day.
The next morning after another rough night I heard the busy day beginning and even as my mind started racing about the stress that lay ahead. I stopped and thought to myself “Be grateful for this day, and whatever it brings, and be strong pressing on, it may not be an easy day but remember you are not alone”. The day wasn’t particularly any better than the one previous, but my perspective was and that made all the difference.
When life gets hard and things feel overwhelming, take a moment and remember “He never said it would be easy, He only said I’d never go alone” (lyrics from Ginny Owens If You Want Me Too, and I know I quote them a lot..but they are amazing words).
Ladies, I know God will be there for you and give you just what you need, be it help, encouragement, refining, comfort or rescue. He always knows just what we need even when we do not.
Take care and be blessed.